Here’s some good news, ready? You don’t have a sore throat right now. Your nose isn’t clogged - you can breathe with your mouth closed! There’s no cold sore bothering you! ... Ok, I can understand if you’re not elated, but you can probably see where I’m going with this. We never really appreciate these things until they’re gone.
Most aspects of our lives are generally doing alright. You might not think of it often, but your sleeping, clothing, safety, and shelter are generally healthy. The next time one part of your life is damaged, try to avoid thinking your life is ruined. Make that “At least…” comparison I’ve mentioned before. One aspect of your life might be hurt, but that doesn’t have to determine your happiness. Overall, we’re still healthy, and by focusing your mind to be thankful for what you do have, you can dull the pain of what you don’t have.
This is what Paul wants when he says “content in all circumstances.” However, there’s one important caveat to this. Sometimes, with truly awful circumstances, positivity can be an unhealthy coping mechanism. We can suppress and hide the bad things by drowning them out with reckless optimism. It is vital that we grieve through the process first. During this grieving process you recognize how bad things are and you don’t try to water it down. Once you’ve grieved (we’ll cover this topic later), you can begin to take on optimism and regain hope with pointed intellectual discernment.
We view happiness as having certain requirements. You have to buy that thing before you’ll be happy. You have to recover from sickness. You have to pass this test. Maybe there are certain requirements, but for our American lives, we should live by the motto “Happiness levels always reached.”* No matter what’s missing from your life, you still have enough to get by. You still have enough to be optimistic about, to be thankful for.
We view happiness as having certain requirements. . . For our American lives, we should live by the motto “Happiness levels always reached.”
I encourage you to remember this motto in difficult times. You don’t need things to be happy, or to be thankful for what you have. Your happiness minimums are always reached.
A great song about this is Float On by Modest Mouse.
Lesson: You don’t need anything to be happy. When things seem to be falling apart, remember that you can still apply a positive mindset. Most of us have enough that our Happiness minimums are always reached - we just need to actively acknowledge what we have.
*If this isn’t true for you, and you’ve honestly evaluated your circumstances with no tendency toward self-pity, then please, for your own sake, try professional therapy. There is no shame in this. I promote valuing happiness, and getting therapy is just that. Please value your own happiness over the nerves, the cost, and the stigma of therapy.
For my Gordon friends, the counseling center offers a free first appointment. Their number is 978 867 4301, and their email is counseling.center@gordon.edu. They offer some useful though familiar self-care tips here: https://www.gordon.edu/self-care.
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