Here’s two quick stories of overcoming some unhealthy negativity I was stuck in. I hope you enjoy and maybe get something out of it.
One year, I managed to pretty much ruin winter because, as a typical teenager, I thought being critical of things was cool. My goal was to be a “realist” about “winter wonderlands” which are just for kids, right? I’m pretty sure I out-grinched the grinch on this one. When everyone else was literally praying for snow, I was spouting facts about icy roads and increased likelihood for crashes in winter conditions. I was tired of snow shoveling before I even put my boots on. I was exhausted with lugging firewood when the first snowflake hadn’t even hit the ground. I managed to be negative the entire winter.
Now, I deal with things much better. Now, I actually value my happiness over my pride, so it’s cool to be passionate about things again. I love fall weather, and fall fashion, but I also love winter, and snow, and hot chocolate. When my mind was set against winter, I resented it. Now, when I seek out the best part of winter, I enjoy it. We see what we expect to see, so look for the positive side of things and you’ll find it.
When my mind was set against winter, I resented it. Now, when I seek out the best part of winter, I enjoy it.
La Vida had its good days, but it certainly had its bad ones, too. For those of you who don’t know, Gordon has a 12 day long outdoor camp which includes a week long expedition. We carried all our gear on our backs and went for five, six mile hikes each day. On one particular day, it rained, and it was awful. I had been so positive and optimistic the whole trip, and even when it started raining I still had hope that, say, my rain jacket would do its job. It didn’t. Soon enough, I was soaked to the bone, and my positivity left as quickly as the cold set in. I was the quietest I had been all trip. I was deep inside my head, damp, and miserable. My shoulders were sore from hunching against the rain, and my neck hurt from looking down to keep my face dry. All I saw was the mud in front of me and the puddles I was trying to avoid. My arms were stiffly held out away from my sides, because to move them would feel even wetter and colder.
At my wits end, I started praying, a lot. God answered me with a sort of peace. We love to control or resist our circumstances, but sometimes, we have to stop this effort so we can give everything up into God’s hands. I trusted God’s protection for me in the rain and I faced the challenge in a new light. I stopped hunching my back, I looked up, and I loosened up my arms again. These things weren’t making me any drier or any more comfortable, they just made me sore. I manned up and let the rain drive into my face, and… it wasn’t so bad after all. As it turned out, it was really just a light rain, but I had made it a big deal in my head. I had let my negative expectations affect my experience. I still kept to myself for the rest of the hike, but I was no longer resisting the weather and making it worse for myself. Sometimes, fighting our circumstances just tires us out. It's useless, like crying over spilled milk. If we can, we should try to redirect that energy into positive, mindful thinking.
One of my La Vida friends was surprisingly perky the whole time so I tried to mirror her energy. If it weren’t for her, I would have started to drown in self pity and, you know, sky water. Sometimes, the difference between a good day and a bad day are the people you surround yourself with. I’m grateful to God for the people he’s put in my life and I’m grateful to my friends for putting up with me. Their support and encouragement has changed the way I think about myself. Regardless, ever since, when in driving snow or freezing rain, I try to keep my shoulders low and my head high.
Lesson: We see what we expect to see, so our inward negativity multiplies as it causes us to find more reasons to be negative. Conversely, if you remind yourself that all circumstances have their silver linings, you’ll start to see them. Sometimes, this requires us to mirror the energy of optimistic people around us.
There's a story behind the picture, too. It was midnight, and I was sleepily driving back from a friend's house. No amount of jalapeño quesadilla or loud music could keep me up, so I pulled over for some fresh air. I stepped outside to take a picture of the moon and I was struck by its beauty. While no one watches, God patiently displays his wonders, waiting for us to enjoy them. This kept me up for the rest of the drive. I thought the picture was a blurry throwaway, until a friend pointed out the contrast in colors. Notice that farm takes on an eerie green, a spectral beauty of it's own in contrast to the pink of the moon. I think the picture says that both heavenly and earthly things are beautiful, but heavenly things are unchangeable while earthly things can turn sour.
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